The older I get, the more I don’t really care to dress up in some costume for Halloween. Don’t get me wrong though, Halloween does have its advantages — more on that later.

My first ever memory of Halloween was in kindergarten at Stansbury Park Elementary. I can’t remember what I dressed up as, but I do remember going through each class and seeing the costumes of the older kids. As the grades got higher in each classroom, the costumes got scarier — and for that rest of the year I avoided sixth-graders.

As a kid, my trick-or-treat outings weren’t always so perfect. I never liked to buy any costume in advance, and so I would have to get creative at home a day or two before Halloween. When I played little league football, I would splash on a little fake blood and go as a deceased football player. More than one time during Halloween an old bed sheet would turn into a ghost outfit.

Procrastination does not make for good Halloween costumes.

Then there was the one time in seventh grade that I went to a door to trick or treat only to be told by a girl younger than me that I was way too old to be out trick or treating. Talk about a slap in the face. That event left a bad taste in my mouth and put me into retirement as far as knocking for candy goes.

I still think it is nice when people I went to high school with go trick or treating with their kids. I can also see dressing up if you work in an office and the rest of your co-workers are doing it. In fact, that was the last time I dressed up — as a monk in 2007.

But honestly, to me Halloween is a time for kids, and the glow slowly fades away as you get older. I know I’m a Halloween Grinch, but I’m just trying to keep it real.

Still, like I said, there are a few advantages to the holiday.

First off, there are haunted houses all over the state. These joints are great for first or second dates. It only takes one creature jumping out of a dark corner to get a girl to jump right into your arms. Plus, if you play this right, you get to look fearless and protective — qualities chicks dig.

And, during the Halloween buildup, a lot of television stations run as many horror films as possible. I have always been a horror film junky who sticks to the classics like “Friday the 13th” and “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Films that have sadistic dudes jumping out of every conceivable corner, and blundering babes who walk backward without ever turning around.

These films are hard to find on TV until Halloween is approaching.

As a person gets older, some holidays take on a more meaning, but for me Halloween is not one of them. Though I am always curious what people will dress up as, the costume thing just isn’t for me.

Jake Gordon: jgordon@tooeletranscript.com