My name is Glenn. That’s Glenn with two ‘n’s. Now say it with me, Gee, ll, eee, nn, NN.

Not Glen. “Glen: - noun - a small, narrow, secluded valley. [Origin: 1480-90; < Ir, ScotGael gleann; c. Welsh glynn ] — Related forms glenlike, adjective.”

I am not glenlike — adjective — although I have hiked through a few and like them as far as glens go, but I am Glennlike — adjective — meaning strong, handsome, and intelligent.

It seems everywhere I go, whatever ticket, roster, list, reservation, decree, or skywritten message, the author first assumes I am a Glen. How odd a name tag looks when it is missing an ‘n’; the very letter that separates me from a piece of dirt squished between two hills. There are some people named Glen out there who try to claim that Glen is the correct and proper name. I refer them to my first paragraph. I am short on a lot of things but I am not short an ‘n.’

What ever possessed my parents to name me Glenn, I’ll never know. Why couldn’t I have been named after someone in my family with a normal name such as Harold, Claude, Nellie, Francis, or Ruth? Instead Mom and Dad flipped a coin and decided to name me after their fathers, Glenn and Oliver. I didn’t even know the guys. To get even, I named my youngest after grandfather and me.

After all of my complaining, I should remember that I don’t have the worst name by far when you consider some of the all time worst. Johnny Cash sung about a boy named Sue. There are guys out there named Judi. Some Lynn. I guess the hardest name to deal with comes when parents latch the first name to the last as a joke; Billy Club, Adam Baum, and Anita anything. Then there’s Brooke Trout, Warren Peace, Mike Raffone, and Seymour anything. Not to be outdone, some have degraded themselves with Otto Graf and worst of worst, Glen anything. Call me prejudiced.

There are many famous Glenns, (that’s with two ‘n’s). John Glenn, Glenn Close, Glenn Miller, Glenn Beck, Glenn Gould, and Glenn Ford. In all fairness, I Googled for famous Glens (with only one small ‘n’). There are none.

Glenn Parkhurst moved to Stansbury Park in 2003 from the East Coast and uses his observations while living in Tooele County to inspire his writing.